Yes, it's true, all those hours sitting in front of your computer and clicking on llama heads have finally paid off. For you have made it to the famous 'secret llama page'! So here is your reward: a secret picture of a llama. We hope you enjoy this secret picture of a llama. Remember: if you want to look at a secret picture of a llama, the 'secret llama page' is the place to do it.
The 'secret llama page': bringing you a secret picture of a llama since 2007.
But that's not all you get on the 'secret llama page', ungulate fans!
You also get a useless poem about a llama! It is called 'A Useless Poem About A Llama' and it goes like this:
A USELESS POEM ABOUT A LLAMA
A llama is a quadruped
With much fuzzy hair upon its head
A llama is an ungulate
And they like to eat choco-late
Oh beautiful llama with your droopy eyes
How about you and me play I-spies
With your cloven hooves and inability to speak
You'd only be better if you had a beak
Golly, what a rubbish piece of work. It really stunk the place up, didn't it?
BUT NOW, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO DO EVEN WORSE!
Yep, send in your own pathetic poems about llamas and we'll publish the most useless ones right here on this very page! Good luck, you weirdoes!
Send your walloping poems here: mrGum@euk.egmont.com
A Gallery of Pathetic Poems...
Here we have our first submission. It's inspired, a truely marvelous poem!
Llamas
Your fleece may be pongy and smelly
Some of you may even have a big belly
But trust me when I say
Hip hip Hooray
For some like to eat my Jelly
O llama with indigestion
Hope you dont get an infection
Since No-one at all
No No-one at all
Can ever stomach my Jelly.
Another poem has just hit our inbox - by golly these are coming in thick and fast!
O Llama, with your double-L,
I hope that you are doing well.
For if you're feeling sad or glum
I'm gonna have to tell my mum.
My mother isn't satisfied
With all these llamas, far and wide.
And if she knew that you were here
Inside my room, she'd fetch a spear
You wouldn't like that, would you, now?
So cheer up, llama, or else ... POW!
Larry was a very stressed Llama
Who was trying to make himself calmer,
So he took up cricket
And booked a one way ticket,
And now lives in the Bahamas.
Oh Llama, Llama wont you please,
Kindly stop eating all the cheese.
For what you llamas just don't know
Is cheese makes llamas fat and slow.
And thus one day whilst you are slurpin',
And scoffin' and munchin' and guzzlin' and burpin,'
A hungry wildcat might pass
And quickly chase you through the grass.
And llama, dear, so big and fat
Will be no chase for a hungry cat.
Then old catty will get over-fedder
Cos llama ate far too much cheddar!
Llamas - a poem
They are cross between deer and giraffes
They always make people laugh
They are hairy and scary
And In addition, smell very bad
I think my mum would kill if she knew I was a mad
About
LLAMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To Whom It May Concern:
Speaking as a Llama,
I really think I oughta,
Say some words in my defence,
In-case it makes a difference:
Llama grooming is quite tough,
Hence the always-poufy coif,
As far as the smell, what can I say?
You try eating all that hay!
But more important that all the rest -
We like the Secret Llama page best!
Support your local Llama
I hate Llamas
I hate Llamas because the smell
Tricking you with their double L
Sitting, doing nothing all day
What do they eat? Is it hay?
I hate Llamas yes I do
I hate Llamas how about you?
Llamas Llamas
Oh Llamas llamas
Where are your pyjamas?
I'm not very good at rhyming
So I'd better end it now.
Double LL's
Double LL's mean Y's,
So llamas should be yama's,
That means they are yams,
Which means they are potatoes,
And they have big hooves which just stepped on my toes...
MARZIPAN
Wonderful Llama
Oh wonderful llama
You've got a nice head
your hair is frizzy
I reckon you should be called izzy
The way it just sits there like a mop
It doesn't drip a drop
Why don't you wear some aftershave
You smelly fuzzy thing?
And why don't you get a hair cut?
I can't even see your bleeding cut's
SO GET A HAIR CUT YOU SMELLY MUT!
TAMMY
Hey, TAMMY!
Don't steal my pies!
Don't steal 'em! Don't!
I'm sick of you and your lies!
Take your llama head
And your llama eyes
And your llama everything else
And get out of my pies!
Get out of my pies, TAMMY!
Get out of my pies, TAMMY!
You're the very worst llama I have ever seen.